Andrea
how are you? let’s just start off with that. laughs how are you?
Ashley
laughs. good i’m good. just yeah. you know, just living life. yeah how are you?
i’m good. i just got off work. laughs. so i guess just introduce yourself. like your artistic journey, how you got into collage making and how has that impacted who you are today?
yeah so i’m ashley fuentes. i’m based in la. i’m salvadoran american. i’m a mixed media artist and product developer. kind of my background, i’ve always been pretty artistic growing up. i grew up in new york and i grew up in a big family. and my oldest sister was kind of a big influence in my artistic side. she would have these prints of picasso paintings and things like that growing up and she gave me this collage book that had all these different papers and things to use to collage but like for kids or something you know. laughs. so it ended up being like influential in how i continue to keep collaging even though i’ve also studied fashion. i started making clothes when i was 15/16 years just like making clothes from vintage sewing patterns and becoming more interested in that. my mom and my grandma used to sew as well so it was kind of like in the family so yeah that’s kind of like a good intro into my creativity i suppose
going into the piece that you sent, bingo, can you like just talk about that and we could go from there—further into the interview
yeah! so bingo is made in 2020 during the pandemic. obviously one of those people who had a lot of free time. during that year. so i took that opportunity to be more creative outside of you know my profession. and when i make a collage i don’t really go into it with any end result in mind. i just fill the page and pick images that show themselves as interesting to me. you know in my stash of paper clippings and it wasn’t until after i finish the collage that i saw like the end image reflected back at me that was like subconsciously inspired by these themes of puberty, birth control, you know the links you know women and uterus having people go to you know monitor and control our bodies to reflect our personal beliefs and desires. you know we have apps to track our period cycle and you know our body images is constantly in question from societal perceptions being fed to us since we were like born. right? and there are people who think that a women’s sole purpose on this earth is to bear children. and trying to deviate from that with forms of birth control is considered like blasphemous or unnatural. and while i feel like it’s ultimately a person’s choice what they do with their body, i feel like personally there’s a lot of mental gymnastics that you do like what do i want to do with my body? versus like what does my partner want? versus like what does society want from me? and it kind of feels like this endless theme hence the name of the collage. also coming from kind of the imagery within
okay it sounds like the process is a big part of this work or like your collage work in general. so i was wondering for the process, has girlhood or has these unconscious concepts of what it means to be a women, is it constantly in the back of your mind and how has that impacted you outside of, i guess, collaging or creativity. just like life in general?
yeah, yeah. so yeah it’s definitely something that has lingered in the background for me. you know grew up having a twin sister, three older sisters, and an older brother. i danced competitively as a pre-teen, and while dancing is still something i enjoy, it definitely affected the way i look at myself. like my self-esteem and my body image a lot more than i like to admit. and i think once i became a teenager, i was starting to get confused about stereotypes like the kind of clothes i started getting interested in, comparing myself to other girls, my music taste started to deviate from female pop stars and boy bands and stuff and i would still do what i wanted but in the background i kind of be…like low key upset like why can’t i just like what i like. why does there have to be like a female or masculine tag to it? and i think i started to question gender binaries and stuff more when i was in college and studying fashion and being more exposed to other artistic fields. i took a class that’s called ‘bad girls in literature, art and music’ and that was a big influence on me and i started to explore more feminine tropes in fashion like lingerie, and pastel colors, and sheer materials and applying those to menswear or runway collection as my thesis so it’s definitely something that i feel like is still in my head at all times or something that’s just like part of who i am pretty much
so that class, is it called bad girls in art and literature?
yeah it was called bad girls in literature art and music
can you talk a little bit more about that class and maybe how that has influenced you in a bigger way?
i would say it was kind of my intro to feminism and awareness of intersectionality and queer art as well. it was not something i was really exposed to prior to college. and also just kind of validating in a sense of women that i admired in music or just exposing me to other feminist writers you know like bell hooks for example. i have not heard of her before then. so yeah it was just a really eye opening class that i had and i haven’t really considered any of these topics before
when you talk about queer art, how—this was in college right?—from girlhood, that period, and that transition into womanhood how would you describe that experience for you like prior to taking that class
i would say it was kind of like, what i was touching on before, just like growing up with other women in my life who were way more feminine than me and just affected by…i felt like i was affected more by like society’s perception of who i was supposed to present myself as or who i’m supposed to be like as a woman. and i felt like i quickly learned that i did not want to prescribe to those kind of stereotypes or like i don’t really consider myself the most feminine all the time or like if you were to meet my twin sister, she’s like way different than me. or like presents way different than me. she was like the pretty one and i was just like, there. you know what i mean? so it was just interesting growing up with that and also like i feel like, girlhood never really ends because you’re still trying to unlearn the things that were programmed into you. or like you just know that you’re gonna get your period. you’re gonna have to get birth control. it becomes this rite of passage thing and there’s not a whole lot of nuance or education into those things. they just happen? and you go along with it because you’re so young and then like for me it’s not until like i’m older where i’m like oh wait! why did i do things like this? or you know wanting to change a form of birth control or something for example. or dressing a certain way to not get a negative reaction from people or not exposing my chest or something. i think those kind of things are always programmed into you. at least from my personal experience
yeah, i think you saying that girlhood doesn’t really end also connects back to how you said that it’s constantly in the back of your head, and that’s how you create these collages— cause it unconsciously becomes this piece. so i’m wondering, what does..how would you describe femininity to everyone? and how has that been affected by your experience growing up like i suppose as a girl. if i’m wrong, correct me if i’m wrong! can you describe that?
i mean. i feel like the definition of femininity in my head is a stereotype. it’s just you like pink and bright colors and you like to do your makeup a lot and you want to be attractive. you want to be young forever. there’s a submissive quality about it where you do everything someone else tells you to do. or you’re like waiting for your dream man person to sweep you off your feet. those are the kind of things when i think of the word femininity like, i’m dressed in bright colors and stuff but it’s because colors and things like that don’t have a gender to me. i think that’s why it’s so confusing sometimes? and that’s also like even you questioning how i identify is something i’m exploring myself now as an adult. just knowing myself and my experience and my journey of unlearning binary perception and just wanting to be who i am. i don’t know if that answers your question
no, that completely answers my question. going back into the collage, bingo. like you said how it’s constantly—the experience of girlhood and how it’s still with you today—would you say that there’s an element of escapism that appears after you finish the collage? if so, can you explain?
what do you mean by escapism?
like trying to run away from like what you said, the stereotypes of what it means to be feminine or a girl and how there’s this perception of birth control and these concepts that have been hammered into our heads. so i’m just wondering if that has ever come to you? in other collages or during this collage
i mean i think that’s a great insight to pull because i would definitely say yes. it’s something that i’m only learning to talk about now? as an adult. and it’s like you’re so used to hiding those things. some people don’t feel comfortable talking about those topics or like i said it’s just a concept mental battle with yourself that you, yeah, like externally you present like i’ve got it all under control and yeah i don’t really share a lot of my thoughts on those things. so yeah i would definitely say like this has come up or like from my subconscious because i definitely don’t talk about it that much or like my personal points of view or experiences
is there a reason why it hasn’t been talked much about? is it because it’s something that is your personal journey? or is it something that you’ve discovered recently where you feel like you’re trying to figure out yourself?
i think there’s a little bit of both. like sometimes i’m not intentionally trying to withhold. it just happens. i’ll have these conversations with my partner or with other people but it’s still like, to me i still worry will they accept what i’m trying to say? is this okay to bring up to my friends? you question how other people approach the topic to themselves? so i guess there’s just an element of caution in that
to end this interview, going back to bingo, if you were to, i guess your younger self, were to look at this collage, as a girl before the transition to womanhood, how would you describe it to them and how would you describe that experience. that transitional experience into being a ‘woman’?
interesting. i’m not sure hm. i think i definitely. it’s hard for me to answer because i definitely struggle with holding hands with that younger part of myself. but like yeah i think it’s just you know having. i don’t know how i would explain it per say but like just making sure that younger me would have an awareness of, i guess, feel empowered to be myself even if i’m not feeling like i fit in with other people. and just making sure that i’m doing my best to take care of that reproductive aspect of myself or my body so that i’m protecting myself if that makes sense? but not feeling like i need to do things just because others have an expectation of me as a woman or as a girl like going through the journey of girlhood
do you want to add anything? anything else you want to talk about that hasn’t been touched on?
let’s see. i mean i can answer about integrating girlhood into every day life kind of thing. and i’ve kind of touched on it but like i just like to think that i’m kind of still integrating this concept of girlhood into my every day life both individually and in community with others. trying to unlearn binary perception also like hold hands who i was as a younger girl and empower myself to be who i am unapologetically. something that happened earlier this year, i’ve discovered the term demi-femme. i’ve never heard of it before and it felt like something that potentially i can explore what that means to me personally. and that felt really validating in a sense. i’m assigned female at birth like i’m definitely straight but this term is definitely calling to me as my gender identity and that was really an interesting insight to make into myself once i heard that word. and with others i try to make conscious effort to destroy stigma revolving girlhood and feminism or reproductive health. like yesterday i was out with some new friends from work and i’ve been thinking a lot about iuds and i haven’t really talked about it with anyone and i was like let me just ask them. like other girls. other people outside of my immediate bubble so i just straight up asked does anyone here have an iud? do you like it? do you want to talk about it? and we did and like it was a lively conversation it wasn’t *gasp* she brought this up or something. it just feels more freeing to be able to converse openly about health in general as a woman when that’s usually considered taboo or whatever
that’s the end of the interview! laughs. thank you!
of course! thank you!
